“Congratulations!”

“Doesn’t it feel insensitive to say “congratulations” when the family is struggling with the new diagnosis?” This is a question I have been asked many times since starting Jack’s Basket nearly 11 years ago. These people mean well, expressing concern that our message may come off as dismissive of their fears for their child and family’s future. Personally I had struggled with the Jack’s diagnosis for months, yet when processing our experience, what hurt the most was the fact that we were handed our baby with no congratulations. That needed to change.

At Jack’s Basket we know the response to a diagnosis of Down syndrome can vary anywhere from complete devastation to joy & relief. We also know, from lived experiences & research, that when a family is not congratulated on their pregnancy and/or new baby, it can feel like the life of the individual with Down syndrome is now less valuable because of the diagnosis. Our mission is to come alongside these families to assure them that their baby is valuable and a blessing, regardless of the number of chromosomes they have. We are congratulating the parent on their baby, not the diagnosis.

Parents who are just beginning this journey don’t know the love & joy their child will bring them because it’s all new and unexpected. With that comes fear, shock, confusion and many other emotions. No one is immediately knowledgeable about what to expect when you’ve never been through it before. That’s why we as parents farther along on the journey can confidently say “congratulations!”. We know that this new life, although different than what they may have envisioned, will change them for the better. We as parents can give them hope because we can share that our lives are better because of our child with Down syndrome. When you fully accept your child for who he or she is, you’ll realize those that congratulated you knew something before you did, that your child is a gift.

At Jack’s Basket we are working tirelessly to change the start of the story for families. I mean if you think about it…we’re questioning if it feels insensitive to congratulate a new parent when welcoming a baby? Sounds like another day on the carousel ride of this journey, answering questions that imply that people are seeing my child as a diagnosis, not as a person. Congratulate the new family on their baby, they will look back and be thankful, because their baby is worthy of celebration. 

-Carissa